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Go With the Flow

March 31, 2011

I’m not particularly good at going with the flow.  I like structure, predictability, routine.  I decide on a particular course, and continue along it until either it ends or I (eventually, very gradually), decide to move in a different direction.  When something isn’t working, I’m more likely to dig in my heels and stay the course, increasing in crankiness the whole way, than to reevaluate and figure out a better course of action.

I’m working on that.

Chris’s work schedule requires him to leave the house around 6 a.m., which means his alarm goes off at 5:15.  Since I’m the lighter sleeper, that usually means that I wake up before he does.  For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been spending the hour between Chris’s alarm and my own tossing, turning, snapping at Chris for being noisy, and generally panicking about not getting enough sleep.  Any idiot can see that this is not a good plan.

So I’m trying something new.  In the spirit of going with the flow, this week I’m getting up when Chris does, and spending the extra hour walking the dog, puttering around the house, and spending a few minutes with Chris before he leaves for work.  So far, it’s not been easy; I’m having a little trouble adjusting, and the tiredness is catching up with me.  But in the interest of my sanity and the happiness of my home, I’m going to try the new system out for a while and see how it goes.  Maybe reevaluate a little way down the line.  And in the meantime, I’m trying to focus on the beauty of the early morning – the neighborhood’s stillness on our walk, the slow change from very dark to lightly gray to bright and cheerful, the extra time for puppy snuggles, my daily cup of tea.  I’m flowing.

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